#don't ask for the sense in this piece but ig you can see it as yknow “go with the flow and don't stress out”
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Imagine drawing one day before exams 👀
As you can see i tried to practice more background stuff lol
It was supposed to be a cozy hotel room but it sucked so it's just some sky.
It doesn't make sense but holy damn I cooked with the coloring
#silly#drawing#digital art#original art#stress relief art#that fella isn't necessarily a fleshed out oc they're just some random dude i made up for fun#don't ask for the sense in this piece but ig you can see it as yknow “go with the flow and don't stress out”#hence the skies and the dude chilling while preparing for exams#idk it's mainly practice but also stress relief#just throwing random bullshit and see if it works#and experimenting#idk#imaric's arts
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You teach Neuvillette what sex between humans is like. | Sub!Neuvillette x dom!fem!reader | NSFW🔞
someone asked for sub!Neuvillette so here I am.
Summary: You have a sort of crush on Neuvillette, and you've discovered that he's actually the Hydro Dragon. So one casual evening at his house, you slowly tempt him, and end up showing him that his horny human physiology isn't just used during mating season like dragons do.
Warnings: +18, reader!dom! Fingering, riding/cowgirl, piv, nipple sucking, unprotected sex.
MDNI
Average of 3k words ig.
🎨: hamusutaaa_ on Instagram
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Fontaine's Iudex had kept his true identity hidden with arduous caution for long enough... so the revelation of his true form had come as quite a shock to you. Neuvillette was the true face of the Hydro Dragon you had heard so much about as a child ... Now it all made sense, the pieces found their place and fit together perfectly. You had never met such a man before, with a cold gaze and unwavering mettle, fierce convictions and indelible fidelity.
That sense of justice that so tormented the Iudex, that detached perception he possessed about humans -as he called them-, his perspicacity and stubbornness, the truthfulness of his actions... all those attitudes and virtues were indeed incapable of coexisting in an entirely human body.
"It must be exhausting for you to have to coexist with creatures you don't know in their entirety" you say looking out the window of his house.
"On the contrary, I find it very enriching. I did not know such complex beings, or at least not with such closeness" he answers from his armchair, while crossing his arms.
"To that curiosity I owe then the constant storm of questions you ask me when you go to my library?" you ask walking towards him, with a slow step and the gaze fixed on his eyes.
While the revelation of Iudex Neuvillette's true form had shocked you, it had not stripped you of your feelings for him, after all, in your eyes he still looked like a human.
Neuvillette swallows saliva, failing to hide his growing anxiety beneath his stoic facade. He drops his gaze on your figure, which is advancing towards him, he runs his gaze over your face, your shoulders, the curve of your waist and hips... and your legs... he imagines them spread apart for him... he would know how to treat you if given the opportunity to...?
"It seems that Chief Justice is undergoing an inner trial" you whisper resting your hands on your hips, tilting them to the side and smiling.
"This human form is very different from my original form y/n" says the Iudex, voice subtly losing the firmness that always accompanies it, "It comes with sensations I am unaware of... and reactions I cannot control."
Having mentioned that, you notice the growing bulge in Neuvillette's pants, along with his flushed cheeks. Is he humiliated?
You can't help but laugh at the image of Fontaine's unyielding Iudex in front of you, erect and ashamed of his new physiology. Neuvillette rests his elbow on the chair and covers his cheeks with a gentle wave of his hand.
"I guess that doesn't happen to dragons often" you say, shortening the distance between the two of you, "you have nothing to be ashamed of, dear Iudex" you add leaning down, taking his hand and kissing the back of it.
He looks away pressing his lips together, turning only his gaze to observe your cleavage, where he can appreciate the shape of your breasts. He immediately regrets it, and berates himself for behaving like a pervert.
"I have to admit," you continue, moving closer to his ear, warm breath brushing against his earlobe, "that I've always wanted to cross certain boundaries of decency when I see you in my library.
"Y/n~," he lets out, stifling a groan, resting his hand against his length, just short of destroying his pants.
"Allow me to show you, Monsieur Neuvillette, that we humans do not only have sex when we are in heat... that we have sex when we want it and with whom we want it," you drop your hand to his, pressing against his throbbing member.
Neuvillette does not know how, in what way you have acted and why he is in his own bed, naked, completely exposed to you, who admire his figure from your position.
You are standing in front of his bed, observing the Iudex's gifted physiology, his elbows resting on the silk sheets, his hair on his scarred shoulders, his member raised, almost suggesting that you are coming to him.
You undress slowly, without taking your eyes off him, first your blouse, your stockings, then your pants and your shoes, remaining in your underwear. You watch Neuvillette, who can't control his breathing and seems to drip a little when he sees the thin fabric covering your breasts and your sex.
He wants you, fuck, he wants you as much as you want him....
"Since when do you have these feelings for me, Monsieur?" you ask as you remove the clasp of your bra.
"I... ah~" the Iudex can't find the words.
"Don't rush..." you reassure him as you undo your panties, which are sliding down your legs to the floor, you push them aside with your foot.
And when you are completely naked in front of him, you notice how he clasps his hands and puckered his lips, he's as instinctive as you thought.
"My dear Neuvillette..." you whisper as you crawl over and sit astride his form, "so pitiful... poor thing, you have nothing to be ashamed of," you say as you stroke his cheek.
You brush aside the strands of silver hair and tuck them behind his ears, admiring the soft fall of his hair, like a waterfall cascading down a mountain.
With your thumb, you caress his cheek, feeling the warmth of his pink, sweaty, smooth skin. His lips, they are thick and wet, begging you to take them and devour them without hesitation. And his eyes... fuck... you've never seen that pleading look in the Iudex, so fervent and devoted, so eager for you to use him at your whim.
How strange to see him in this state, when he is the one who is often in the position of power in court....
"Y/n..." he whispers, his voice cracking and his eyes watering.
"No Monsieur, don't cry... at least not yet, we don't want it to rain," you say, laughing.
You take Neuvillette's hands, much larger than yours, and place them on your thighs, letting him caress the warm skin under his palms. The Iudex lets out a choked moan, arching his back at the shock as his nipples harden.
You guide his hands over your waist and to the base of your breasts, causing him to squeeze the soft flesh and let out a distinct moan. His grip is precise, and the heat of his fingers makes a flame grow in your center.
"May I?" he asks, wetting his lips with his tongue as he stares at your breasts. You nod at his request, surprised at how quickly he catches one of your nipples in his mouth.
He sucks on your nipple like a hungry infant and bites your skin while making guttural and very embarrassing sounds if anyone else could hear. His hands anchor behind your back, shaping your waist under his nails, which dig gently into your skin in ecstasy.
You throw your head back as you guide his head to your other nipple, which also seeks the attention of his desperate tongue.
"Fuck, Iudex," you moan, clutching at his hair, the skill of his mouth was something you did not expect at all, the way his tongue ran along the tip of your nipple and traveled to its base, leaving soft nibbles on the underside of your breast.
Growing ecstasy makes you guide one of his hands to your center, his soft digits brushing the skin of your lower abdomen, the crease between your thighs and your womanhood.
You slide one of his digits between your folds, parting the wet, glistening vestibule. Neuvillette allows himself to feel the elixir flowing from your pussy, bathing his fingers and yours, the sound of the goo flooding his ears, his lobe reddening at the musical he encourages with the rubbing of his fingers against your center.
He is inexperienced, you know, so you help him find your clit, throbbing anxiously for contact, thirsty to be rubbed without propriety.
"Right there, Monsieur~" you whimper, throwing your head back. The pressure of his fingertips on your nub of nerves makes you roll your eyes and bite your lip, the sensation rising in your belly and your pussy aching to feel more of him.
Neuvillette's fingers are clumsy at first, clouded by the sweet song of your muffled moans, and eventually he loses himself in his own pleasure. He regains his composure and becomes quite apprehensive, sliding his fingers from side to side, in circles, at a steady pace, applying light pressure to your clit.
"Am I doing it right?" he whispers, his face pressed to your chest, the heat of his breath hitting your breasts, coated with his saliva.
"You are a... good apprentice, Monsieur~" you hold back the cry caught in your throat, the fruit of his good skill.
You move your hips slowly, back and forth, increasing the contact of his skin against yours, at the same time he accelerates the movement of his fingers, the fluid of your pussy drowning his digits that are about to bring you to your climax.
"Like that, just like that~" you almost shout, clinging to his back, your hips suddenly bucking over his hand, rather vulgarly, like a dog rubbing.
The heat grows in your belly and between your legs, flooding all your femininity, sending electric waves through your legs, fluttering unashamedly around the Iudex's hips.
"Ah! Neuvillette!" you scream as you feel the flame burst out, your nails digging into his shoulders, marking his pale skin, your core contracting and your substance leaving your insides.
Fuck... Did he make you cum just by rubbing your clit?
"It can't be," you whisper. It's the first time something like this has ever happened to you, and you sense confusion on Neuvillette's face.
"Did I do something wrong?" he asks, frightened and ready to apologize.
"You have done nothing wrong, my dear Iudex," you say, caressing his cheek, brushing his lower lip with your thumb, circling the softness of that lovely fleshy feature of his that begs for a kiss.
You join your lips to his, it's a wet, passionate kiss, and between each nibble he moans for air. His shy tongue can't resist any longer and intertwines with yours, an erotic dance that reveals the animal side of the oh so subtle Judge.
"You've been a good boy, Neuvillette," you whisper against his lips, "let me show you how good boys like you should be rewarded," you say, pushing his shoulders so that his back slams against the sheets, feeling him almost swallowed by the silk of the sheets.
You lift Neuvillette's arms above his head, trying to grab his wrists with only one hand.
You tilt your head at the image, his muscles tense, sweat running down them, his shoulders defined, with the marks of your nails, and his hands, fingers glistening from the orgasm he just tore from you.
You look down at his length and...what?...you'd swear he wasn't this big a few minutes ago.
"It won't fit," you say to yourself...you've been with big guys before, but this was definitely beyond you. Maybe it's a characteristic of dragons...
"Please...it has to fit," whispers Neuvillette, whose heightened senses have allowed him to hear you, his voice, an almost muffled whimper, choked by his own ecstasy that has crossed his boundaries, completely taking over his human side and showing only his instinctive side.
"I'm going to ride you, Neuvillette, like you'll never be ridden again in your life," you interject abruptly, the words leaving your lips in a frenzy of anguish whipped by desire, the thought of having his thick cock inside you was eating away at your mind.
Your hand is not enough to cradle the base of his member, the fingers remaining spread even as you raise and lower your hand up and down its length. You align his throbbing manhood with your entrance, your pussy contracting against the nothingness in anticipation of what awaits you, your juices rewetting your center.
His cock slides in slowly, parting you completely, with inordinate amplitude. Your walls contract at the colossal invasion, and a moan falls from your lips, almost like a sob.
"So~" Neuvillette moans, his chest rising and falling in desperation, the sensation of his cock being devoured by your hungry pussy driving him wild. "So tight."
This provokes nothing more in you but your lust takes over completely, ignoring the pain, you let yourself fall all over Neuvillette's hips, his cock penetrating your depths, hitting that spot on your cervix that feels oh so fucking good.
You continue to squeeze him and he can only let out a grunt of pleasure, feeling that little pussy all to himself, gripping his length completely, you had been brave to take that risk.
Fuck. What a good time the Iudex was having.
"You're beautiful," he whispered, eyes closed and lips parted, lost in the pleasure you were provoking in him, the way you were using him to your advantage, he had never been in a position like this before, he was always the one....
"Fuck, y/n!" his thoughts were shot down by the circular movement of your hips, the friction of his member against your walls, the oil bathing you both, the sweat falling on your breasts, you are a goddess to him and you ride him like one.
The Judge was vocal, fucking vocal, the jerky movements of your hips, the way you jump on his member, tearing loud moans from his lips, hoarse howls, deep, raspy moans. Your name, overflowing from his bruised throat, makes you move with greater speed, resting your hands on his pecs, nails marking his skin again, making him yours and yours alone.
"Tell me you like the way I ride you," you command, your movements relentless, merciless.
"I~" he babbles, "I like the way you ride me y/n~" he flatters.
Neuvillette becomes a storm of praise as you bend further over him, giving him as much access to your loins as possible. He clings to the sheets, hiding his face in his shoulder.
"Say you're mine," you whisper, your hand around his throat, forcing him to look into your eyes.
"But..." he hesitates. The Hydro dragon cannot belong to anyone, especially a human, it disturbs the free and wild nature of its kind... that means shame and...
"Why do you stop moving?" he asks, almost like a small child, terribly worried.
"I won't let you cum until you tell me..." you say flatly, almost coldly, your gaze hard, almost unrecognizable.
"Please," Neuvillette pleads, grabbing your hips and trying to move them in a pathetic attempt at self-pleasure. "Y/n!," he begs fervently.
Neuvillette is not humiliated by the situation as he thought, damn it... this attitude of yours does nothing but turn him on beyond measure, drowning his insides in flames of desire, of desire to belong to you, to ignore his nature and abandon everything just for you, for your pussy that takes him so well.
"I belong to you, completely, for eternity. My being does not deserve a lover as fervent as you, I refuse to disappoint you in the future, to disappoint or deny you. My fidelity is totally pervaded by you, by your wishes and commands. My dearest y/n, you are my lover, the only one on this earth who can have control over me," he pauses, waiting for you to respond in some way to his plea.
Hours have passed and Neuvillette continues to cum in your insides. His eyes are rolled back, completely empty, tearful, he has come out of himself, your movements have brought him to paradise.
Outside, Fontaine is inundated by torrential rain, the inhabitants unaware that the rain is not due to the season, but to the fact that their respectable judge is getting the fuck of his life.
It's almost inhuman what you've endured on his cock, but the way his seed overflows inside you has proven to be addictive. He is addictive.
"Neuvillette~" you moan, resting your hands on his knees, his tip abusing your G-spot, your pussy inflamed from the abuse of the last few hours.
"I think I'm going to... Ah!~" your last moan is almost a cry of desperation, your I don't know how many orgasms of the night have overtaken you, and this time it is indeed your last.
You let yourself fall onto your lover, who wraps you in a warm, trembling, restless embrace, stroking your hair and your back. You hear the raindrops on the roof of the house, and you lean on your hands to look into Neuvillette's eyes.
You gently wipe away his tears, kissing his cheeks and the remnants of the sobs that the pleasure you gave him caused him.
"Why didn't you do this before?" the judge asks.
"I didn't have the courage," you answer, falling back to rest on his chest, exhausted as he is.
Your heart beats slowly, your muscles succumb to the abuse and your eyes close, lulled by the soft fall of the rain.
"We should do it again tomorrow," the Iudex says.
"Judge's orders?" you ask teasing.
"Tomorrow I'll show you how the hydrodragon fucks that little pussy of yours, " he decrees, his voice firm, the one he uses to deliver the verdict during trials, "you won't be able to walk for days".
#neuvilette smut#neuvilette x reader#neuvillette#neuvilette fanart#neuvilette genshin#genshin smut#genshin impact
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omg I'm so in love with the way you write 💖
can you write first time with jungwon but his girlfriend is a bit traumatized by men cause of her bad experience? we really need gentleman jungwon yaay
I rarely write soft sex so bear with me if this isn't as good anon 🫡
DELICATE (y.jw)
MINORS DNI
Warnings : mentions of trauma, panic attack, smut, ig that's all?
Your mind went blank upon hearing the glass bottle crash on the floor, no longer intact it was shattered into pieces with the perfume it held inside gone to complete waste as the expensive fluid seeped into the carpet.
your hands shook as u heard jungwon's voice calling for u from the other room, your throat tightened and your vision started to become hazy, terror filling up your body, freezing it from inside out. You stayed rooted to your place, your heartbeat sounding too loud in your ears as u heard jungwon's footsteps get closer to where u were.
Panic was beginning to overtake u, your mouth gone dry and hold tightening on the dust cloth you were holding in your hands. Your eyes began to water and it was becoming difficult to breathe
"Baby what was that noise? You okay? " Jungwon's voice sounded muffled to you with the blood rushing to your brain. You looked up at him with distraught eyes as your boyfriend finally noticed the shattered perfume bottle.
His perfume bottle, to be precise.
"I-im so sorry, sorry j-jungwon I'm so s-sorry,it was an a-accident"
his head snapped up at hearing your trembling voice, taking in your shaking figure he took a step forward towards u. This action made u flinch, your trauma induced reflex working faster than u could comprehend, bringing two hands in front of you to protect yourself from the oncoming strike as you let the dust cloth fall to the floor and shrinking yourself in size as u begged for forgiveness.
Jungwon was stunned. What the fuck.
He halted his advance towards u instantly upon seeing how terrified u actually were of him. At the same time, he couldn't just stand there while u sobbed on your own. He slowly approached your crouched figure and took your hands softly in his own, removing them from the front of your face, revealing your tear stained cheeks, terrified eyes looking up at him to gauge his next move.
"I'm not going to hurt you baby" He whispered in a soothing tone, hoping it would bring u back. He wanted to puke. Seeing you like this was something he didn't want even in his worst nightmare. You thought he was gonna hit you? You? his sweet little love? he felt an insane urge to scream
Your form stayed frozen, quiet sobs and sniffles coming from your mouth as u stared into his love filled eyes. He loved you. This was your jungwon. He would never hurt you.
"I-ill buy u another, i-i promise I'm so s-sorry, please" u started crying again, fear overtaking all your senses, just the thought that he could stop loving you or leave u over ur stupid mistakes made you cry harder. Why were u such a loser, no wonder your ex didn't love you, no wonder he called you worthless, all u did was destroy things.
"Hey hey hey, look at me y/n, look at me baby-his warm hands cupped your wet face, breaking your inner monologue-i don't care ok? I don't care about that stupid perfume bottle, u can break hundreds of them, here, break this one too I don't give a single fuck"
He grabbed another expensive perfume bottle from his collection behind you and handed it to you
"Just stop crying, I love you, nothing matters more than u y/n, nothing, do u believe me baby? " He asked exasperatedly, his own eyes filling up with moisture just thinking about how deep your past suffering must be for you to react this way. His thumbs continually swiped under your eyes as warm moisture kept seeping from your eyes. But u were beginning to quiet down, nodding slowly,your body had stopped trembling and jungwon took this as a cue to finally wrap your heaving form in his arms. God you were so small, he felt a raging urge to hurt whoever had dared to damage your self esteem in such a drastic way.
He sighed in relief when he felt your arms coming up to wrap around his neck, burying your face in his chest, sniffing quietly.
Jungwon realized that day that you were someone very delicate and fragile at heart. the fact that you had given him the privilege of coming so close to u even after all that u had been through, he thanked his lucky stars for that. You were his baby and he swore to always treat u in a way that would give u no chance of experiencing that hurt ever again.
His hands tightened around your warm, soft body, kissing your head and whispering sweet nothings in your ears, letting u know that he loved you.
your giggles were like music to his ears, watching you like this was something he could do all day, just listening to you talk about random things and adding his own jokes here and there, making you laugh and hit his shoulder. This was all he wanted. You were all he wanted. and damn did he want u so bad.
He could not focus on what you were saying as his gaze pivoted to your delicious lips, he needed a taste and he needed a taste right now. He leaned towards you and cupped your cheek in his palm. you stopped mid sentence and stared into his eyes nervously, his face was inches from yours and the proximity was making u fidget.
"I want to kiss u baby, please tell me u want that too" He whispered and watched in amusement as you blushed profusely and gave him a small shy smile. A small nod from you was all he needed to capture your tempting lips in his own. The kiss started off as soft, but your taste was addicting as he delved further into your mouth, pressing his tongue against your lips, biting softly on your lower one which made u gasp in his mouth, giving him the chance to protrude his tongue into your warm mouth. Your taste was addicting, he reached deeper, licking into your warm cavity with passion. Your hands fisted the couch material that u were sitting on. The kiss felt so good. You had never been kissed with such want before. you were trying your best to return his passion by tangling your tongue with his own when all of a sudden you felt his other hand beginning to slip under your tank top, caressing your naked skin. Jungwon felt your body stiffen underneath his touch and he stopped his movements immediately, pulling back from the kiss. He heard your sharp inhale before he saw the tears gathering in your eyes. He immediately cupped your face "baby what's wrong, did I make u uncomfortable? " He asked softly, trying to understand your boundaries regarding physical touch.
He knew physical touch didn't come easy to you, it was something you struggled with on the daily and you and jungwon had come a long way from the first day when u flinched even from feeling him hold your hand and now u were wrapped around him like a koala everyday. There was progress and he didn't want to ruin it.
"I-im sorry, I don't know what happened" u whispered, a few tear drops rolling down your eyes. This was your jungwon, he would never do anything to hurt u, u reminded yourself. He cooed and shushed you, kissing your tears away
"It's okay baby, I'm willing to wait for u for however long it takes, do u understand me? " He asked and u nodded. Your arms came up to wrap around his neck and u stared deep into his eyes guiltily
"I don't want you to think that I don't want you, because I do " u whispered but jungwon shook his head, wrapping his hands around your waist and pulling you into his lap.
"Never. and I mean it y/n. Never do something u don't wanna do just because u want to spare my feelings. I love you and I would never forgive myself if I ever became the person u have been running from till now"
His words made u tear up and u buried your head in the crook of his neck. U don't remember for how long he whispered sweet confessions and how proud of you he was in your ear until u eventually drifted off to sleep in his arms.
You loved kissing jungwon. And u guessed he loved kissing you too because everytime u both were in a close proximity, his mouth was on yours, desperately making out. But the more time you spent in your boyfriend's arms with his tongue in your mouth the more your desire for him deepened. Your thighs desperately rubbing against each other, trying to get some sort of relief from the burning feeling between your legs.
And u knew that jungwon saw it too, u had seen how he would break the kiss to look down at your rubbing thighs and his eyes would darken and he would kiss you harder, messier. But he never dared cross your boundaries even once. His hands staying respectfully above your clothes, caressing your sides or holding your face, never venturing to touch the parts of you that u hadn't given him permission to touch yet.
And you were beginning to feel so safe around him. Jungwon was your safe place, your safe haven. so different from your past. so loving that u weren't used to being desired this way.
His every action screamed his adoration for you, making you gasp at how someone like him could want someone like you. And as much as he wanted you, he respected you. So much so that he taught u how to respect yourself and your emotions.
u weren't used to that. u weren't used to this. and even though everything was new to u and there were so many new feelings to process, you were sure about one thing. u wanted to give yourself to jungwon. u wanted to feel him intimately.
"um, wonie? " your hesitant voice captured your boyfriend's attention from where he was sitting working on his laptop, atop the couch
"Yeah sweetheart?" He asked u, his eyes looking at your figure sitting in the middle of the bed in nothing but his shirt. you blushed at the nickname and played with the hem of his shirt, making it ride further up your thighs. Your breathing became heavier when u saw how jungwon was ogling at your exposed thighs. One thing about your boyfriend was that he might not be able to touch u with his hands but his eyes were always caressing you every which way. His eyes and lust filled gaze were the reason it had been so difficult for u to control your desires from spiralling like this.
"Do u want to kiss?" u asked shyly, this was the first time u had taken initiative in matters like this
You almost laughed upon watching how fast your boyfriend was shutting down his laptop and sprinting to come close to you on the bed
He made u lie down on your back as he hovered over you, this was the first time u had been underneath him and u could tell that jungwon liked the view
"U know I always wanna kiss u baby, always wanna taste you" He whispered before lowering himself and capturing your lips in his own. You wrapped your arms around his neck, opening your mouth to make way for his tongue, slowly sucking on it, making him groan into your mouth. The sound reached straight between your legs and u were pulling away from the kiss to stare into jungwon's eyes. His panting breaths falling on your face
"Can-can we.. " u trailed off under his intense gaze, suddenly feeling too shy to tell him what u wanted. He sensed that as he bent down to kiss your nose
"Hey, tell me" His soft voice filled with absolute adoration made u more confident
"can we-can we try something new today? " u said, ur eyes looking for a reaction on his face, you bit ur lip when he smirked in shock and joy.
"Yeah? U wanna try something new baby?"
U nodded, pressing yourself closer to his body hovering over yours
"want u so bad won, please take me" u whispered at him and his jaw clenched.
Jungwon cursed under his breath and bent down to suck on the delicate skin of your neck
"Fuck u drive me insane y/n" He whispered, his hands moving down to caress your thighs, a sharp gasp leaving your mouth at his touch but before he could pull his hands away u were holding his hand there by urs.
"I'm okay, I'm okay I promise wonie" u assured him. His grip tightened on the soft flesh of your thighs at your words and he started caressing your flesh.
A sigh escaped from your lips upon feeling his touch, his touch made u feel safe, it didn't make u wanna run away. U closed your eyes and tangled your fingers in his hairs as he sucked small love bites throughout the length of your neck, his palms caressing every inch of naked skin they could find, finally getting the opportunity to grope your pretty body.
His pulled away to gather your shirt on your abdomen, revealing your panties underneath. You heard him curse some profanities while he pushed up the shirt further up your body, revealing your naval which made u bite your lower lip. His fingers prodded at your naval and he looked up at you with a hooded gaze
"Can i? " He asked, his voice heavy with lust and u nodded without asking him what he meant. U just knew that u were ready for whatever it was that he wanted to do. That's the reason why u were caught off gaurd when he started licking your naval, rolling his tongue around the skin of your abdomen, just licking your flesh, making out with it. You fisted the sheets around your head as he continued his ministrations. It felt so good.
His hands reached at the back of your bra and he was asking for your permission again. Soon enough u were left in just your panties, sweet moans filling the bedroom as your boyfriend kept sucking and groaning around your nipples, his hands rubbing over your slit from above your panties. Your fingers were buried in his hairs, pushing him further into ur flesh.
"J-jungwon, please, please" u begged for your boyfriend's touch, feeling your body burning, getting flushed with wanton desire
Jungwon came up to bite your lower lip and groaned at how wet you were, your slick beginning to ooze out from where he was rubbing u over your lace underwear.
"Gonna give u everything u want baby, ask me" he whispered and u moaned at the way his fingers were still pressing on your clit.
"I-inside, won please" you were too far lost into your desire to feel shy any longer. Jungwon looked at you with want, making u drip more. He watched your pretty body heaving and squirming underneath him and his inner beast growled to take and take.
But the way your big, innocent eyes were still fidgeting, his heart felt full of love for you. you were quite literally his everything
"R u sure y/n? We don't have to do this right now, I promise" he kissed your cheek, even though you could feel his hard on pressing against your thighs. You shook your head and kissed him deeply
"I'm sure, I've never been so sure about anything before baby, please make me yours" You whined and jungwon almost came in his pants at the pornographic sounds u were letting out.
Jungwon wanted to eat you out, but the bulge in his pants was starting to hurt, he needed to be wrapped inside your soft and warm pussy folds soon. He lifted himself off of you and finally unbuckled his pants, running his hungry eyes all over your panting figure as he got rid of all his clothes. God he had imagined u like this, naked and pliant underneath him on his bed a lot of fucking times but the real deal was a thousand times better.
You gasped upon seeing his hardened cock and u unconsciously rubbed your thighs together
"That's so big" u moaned and jungwon nodded
"worried it isn't gonna fit sweetheart?"
seeing u nod in worry had him chuckling. He hovered back over your body and inserted his tongue in your mouth while his fingers finally slipped aside your panties and started rubbing your clit in the earnest, swallowing your sinful moans.
Your hands tangled themselves in his locks again and u tugged hard when he inserted a finger in you experimentally, moaning softly
"Fuck, you're fucking soaking baby, so fucking hot" He whispered in your mouth as u continued to squirm and take his fingers in you. One became two , two became three and soon enough you were a blabbering mess, your wet walls clenching around his fingers, making him curse. Jungwon's tongue was tangled with yours when he decided to pull his fingers out of you, bringing the slick coated hand in between your kissing mouths, making you suck and lick on your own wetness while he did the same. Exchanging saliva and your wetness while u both made out messily.
"Taste so good baby, u're driving me crazy" Jungwon groaned, pulling back from your mouth and finally tugging at his cock. Groaning at the momentary relief, precum oozing out of it's slit, just turned on beyond belief. He ran his cockhead over your pussy, bumping your clit with his dick, making u gasp and moan, your hands fisting the sheets as you prepared yourself for the intrusion
"Ready? " He asked, his eyes looked loving as they stared at you, asking for your consent again and it made u fall in love a little harder with him. You nodded with a faint smile and he smiled back at you, coming back to kiss u deeply and lovingly, intertwining his one hand with yours, holding it beside your head while with the other he guided his cock inside of you, finally breaching your entrance in one thrust, swallowing up your screams.
Your hands came up to dig your nails into his shoulders as jungwon pulled out and thrust right back in. snapping his hips against yours with passion. You both stared into each other's eyes, panting and moaning into each other's mouth as he made love to you, your bodies brimming with pleasure
"Feels good yeah?" He groaned, hitting your cervix head on, his cockhead reaching that spot inside of you which made your mouth fall open, too lost in the pleasurable stimulation. u could only nod, bringing him down to kiss you again. Your thighs were covered in your leaking juices, the squelching sounds making it impossible for u to hide your desire. u were impossibly wet
The room was quite except for the skin slapping noises that your lust filled bodies were making, your hips chasing his hips, trying to grind back and moaning out your ecstasy. The tight, wet grip of your pussy around his shaft was making jungwon hungry, hungry for more and he started going deeper in you,wrapping your thigh around his waist. His thrusts remained slow but deep, stroking your insides, making you throb and clench.
Groans and whimpers of pleasure filled the room, whispers of "baby more" and "so good" being exchanged between the passionate sex. This was heaven.
"I love you" u whimpered as you felt yourself unraveling on his cock, your eyes rolling to the back of your head, making him groan at how u deliciously clenched around him, pushing him closer to his own high
"I love u so much baby, your pussy feels so good" He moaned capturing your lips again, fucking you through your orgasm, his hips snapping faster and harder
Needles to say, jungwon took u slow and deep all night long, u both not getting enough of mating and grinding, using your hips to pleasure each other. He fucked u. No.
He made love to you.
He made love to you like u were something delicate, something precious that he needed to handle with care.
#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard headcanons#enhypen smut#enhypen#enhypen hard hours#enha#yang jungwon#jungwon smut#jungwon
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Logan x hypersomniac reader headcanons
you guys this is literally just insomniac x hypersomniac, but I realized when I was finished writing this ;-;
also, I imagined the original trilogy Logan for this, but if you want to use your imagination ig it could be a different Logan
Masterlist
First of all, Charles is super nice to you and gives you a rest period in your teaching schedule so you can use it to nap
Your students are also very nice if you happen to fall asleep in class, which doesn't happen often but has a few times.
Jean is super supportive and will help you try to find solutions when your doctors can't help you
So pretty much everyone knows (how could they not when you literally fall asleep at meals?) but you don't mind people knowing
especially when they're this supportive
So when Logan first came to the mansion, you were in the middle of a nap so you had no clue who he was when you finally met him after you woke up
Logan was clueless to your condition, I guess no one told him
As he got to know you better, he started to notice some things about you
like how you would disappear for hours at a time and then resurface like nothing happened
he also noticed you yawned a LOT but didn't piece the two together for a while
He would ask around but everyone says they haven't seen you
When he asks you about it you tell him everything - your struggle to wake up and stay awake, the naps, and even the other effects that come with it like memory problems and trouble concentrating.
Logan's just like :0 How did I not figure that out before?? it all makes sense now
He's SO SUPPORTIVE
He'll remind you about the things you have trouble remembering, and he'll make sure you're taking care of yourself between naps
he'll never admit he's gone soft for you teehee
but it's obvious to everyone else
he still gets moody sometimes, but less around you, and he'd NEVER take it out on you (he takes it out on Scott lol)
you joke about him needing a nap more than you when he's especially grumpy
sometimes you'll sleep way later than you meant to, like waking up at 10pm, and he'll stay up with you
you guys will just be talking in the kitchen until you start to feel tired again
y'all make snacks for your late-night chats
he tries to make sure you're awake from late afternoon naps at a good time (like before 7ish) so that you don't mess up your sleep schedule too bad
he gets to know your schedule, even if you don't stick to it as often as you'd like, he tries to help you stay on it
AND GUYS
if you spontaneously fall asleep somewhere you're not supposed to, Logan will CARRY YOU to your bed and tuck you in (I'm MELTING)
You feel safe around Logan, making it easy to doze off around him
he often finds himself in situations where you're resting your head on him, fast asleep
he'll stay there for a while, and if you don't wake up soon, he'll carry you to bed
Sometimes he watches you sleep
Not in a creepy way (he tells himself) but he loves seeing you so peaceful, the worry melting off you
Jean tells him it looks creepy and he should probably stop before you wake up
Sometimes you get overwhelmed with your feelings about your hypersomnia, and Logan is there to listen and quietly comfort you.
You feel like you're sleeping through your life, like you're not truly living to the fullest potential you can
You also get so frustrated about the lack of answers you have for why you need so much sleep and the constant fogginess of your mind and memory
Logan is here for it all
he might not be the best at openly showing affection and support, but there is no doubt that he cares about you and will do anything for you.
He prefers actions over words, which becomes obvious in the way he treats you and takes care of you
That's all I have for now babes, hope you liked it (again, if you want a full fic lmk)
#yall this is so self insert#logan howlett fluff#wolverine x reader#logan howlett#logan x reader#wolverine fluff#wolverine#wolverine headcanons#logan howlet x reader#logan howlett headcanons
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May I ask you to do slashers ( Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Thomas Hewitt, Sinclair brothers.) With s/o that has a little black kitten that is really sweet and cuddly ❤️. I'm sorry for bad English it's not my first language 😅
It's been 7 weeks 15+ months and three days
I'm sorry anon but this just turned out with the slashers with a black kitten, i didn't include much reader I'm so sorry 😭
S/O has black cuddly kitten!
Featuring: Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, Thomas Hewitt and sinclair brothers!
Michael Myers 🔪
Michael Obviously wasn't a big fan of it at first. He doesn't mind the cat itself. No he thought it was cute, the black fur made it look mysterious and cool but it was really affectionate, and he was lowkey worried he will accidentally step on it and kill it by accident and you'll get sad Or angry or whatever those human emotions you'll go through.
He couldn't do anything to it either, he tried to avoid it as much as he could but he could only do so much against a furry creature with a keen sense of smell. And then he had no choice but to accept that a small kitten was playing around his lap and pockets. He immediately grabbed it by its entire body and placed it firmly on the spot next to him when he heard you coming.
Did that stop the kitten? No, it immediately went back to trying to play on his lap.
He sometimes stares at both you and the tiny cat play together. Lifting it up by its armpits and holding the animal close to your face as it licks your nose and you laugh sweetly. Michael decided to have a staring contest with the cat and glare at it later that night,And he lost when your baby started licking his face too.
Now he doesn't have the energy to gaf when your furry child latches itself to michel and sniff and mess with his clothes affectionately. Ig it was a nice backup company when you were gone.
Jason Voorhees 🪓
He doesn't even know how such a small cute animal like that can survive in a place where he lives.
Honestly he was scared of it at first. Similar to Michael he was scared he was gonna accidentally hurt it. And he may or may not have heard of those superstitions of black cats bringing bad luck, he tried his best to avoid it but the sheer power of a kitten's love and beauty is far too much for even a 6'5 huge bulky killing machine to resist.
It started when you went out one day for necessities Jason gets kinda sad and depressed but then your little cutie came and rubbed it's face into Jason's pants, looking for his attention and then bam. You come home to find the both of them running around the campus. (Ur kitten was jumping around and you almost died.)
The cat will soon take after the characteristics of his 'father'. Both are intently looking at you while following you wherever you go and you don't really know what to do. (Insert Jason and a black kitty with it's tail moving slowly from side to side while both are staring at you.)
He definitely likes playing with the musty overcooked puss but gets embarrassed when you find them and if you start teasing him. It's not like you're insulting him but he doesn't want you to view him as someone who is overly soft and maybe "unmanly".
He gets jealous (jealous?) When he sees the both of you together... Without him!? He's stomping towards you guys and then stares at both of you.
Will literally get so angry or panic or maybe both if a victim had discovered either of you. Makes it his goal to turn that person into nothing but chunky messy pieces of bloody meat if it even dares tries contact with you two.
There will be no harm guaranteed with Jason by you and your kitty's side.
Thomas hewitt ⛓️
Fell in love with your baby kitten at first sight, Literally!
He's a busy man but loves spending free time with you and your four legged sweetie even if he's tired. He melts into a blob of hot glue when he's chopping up victims and it climbs from his back to his shoulders and just rests and Or spends the entire time with him.
We all know Thomas is warm, so that hairy coal dusted meow meow will soon eventually fall asleep on Thomas, and it's the most heartwarming and cutest thing when you see the love of your life with your smol ass child on the palm of his hands like a little sushi roll and sleeping peacefully.
You will also commonly find Thomas and the cat together in bed during nighttime, they are best friends now.
He just looks at the cat while it's nuzzling up to him and wonders 'how can such a small thing live?'
We all know hoyt is a bastard and WILL try to mess with your dark choco pussycat but Thomas and Luda mae are in the dark corner with white glowing pupils. (Plus you running towards him straight with a pan.) Your kitty doesn't see anything wrong though, such a sweet one.
He loves how cuddly your cat is, it's the perfect solution when the family starts getting stressed. One little paw on any limb and it'll instantly lighten the mood.
He wishes he can spend more time with you and your newly adopted child but business is business but the time will come where you can all act like one small but big family<3.
Sinclair brothers 🕯
Bo despised it at first. Like really. He already has one mutt to take care of (not rlly) and now there's a fucking cat in the house? He wanted to avoid it as much as possible but the fact it just followed him no matter where he went both annoyed him and flattered him. He decides to sit down and the coca cola flavoured kitten child decides to sit with him too? And have the audacity to lick his clothes??? Well it's not that bad... Still, he picked it up and dropped it where you were and the vantablack, wormhole, monstrous shadow king of the land of darkness turns around and meows at him. Bo quickly left after that. He's a prick sometimes and messes with the kitty like holding it by it's collar but all it does is meow, lick, purr and hug his arm or bury its face into Bo's clothes and what can he even do anyways. After a while he started to not mind, actually loves it. But he will deny to no end if you ask him if he does though. But you saw how he and the cat fell asleep on top of each other one night. And that's more than enough for an answer.
Vincent thinks it's adorable, he's wondered how having a cat would be like for quite a while and safe to say he's not disappointed. It's nice to have a warm fuzzy little thing playing around him when he's painting, it would've been perfect if you were there and leaned against him. He's honestly pretty surprised the poosay actually wants to hang out around him, the place he's in is really warm 24/7 and he doesn't expect an animal to like it. The power of love is indeed strong. Coming to your boyfriend's room and finding him in his bed with your kitten just chilling around is probably hot and cute. Absolutely handles your fluffy ball of black fur child with a loving and gentle care and you often see vincent trying to make Jonesy and the cat get familiar with each other. I can see him getting along pretty well with animals? It's a lottery since your cat likes to get touchy. Likes painting the black fusty and damp blop of flesh, just waving the paintbrush around while your baby tries ro catch it is just *sobs*. black kitties are aesthetic and he knows it. Bro 100% falls in love again when he sees you with the burnt living food, it's in his mind rent free forever now.
Lester loves it, he already has a dog he takes care of and now there's a cat!? Sign him up! It takes a little while getting used to for Lester, having a cat is nothing like having a dog. He's used to the sheer power of a toddler sized pitbull lunging towards him (playfully) but now he has a tea cup sized baby cat that you can crush with 5% of power climbing up his pants? Damn this was better than he expected. He always heard some people say cats are the equivalent of evil and he was prepared for its attacks but now those people are mute to him. He didn't bring the fetus that close to Jonesy because what if she eats it (jonesy wouldn't do that). Honestly lester is just having the time of his life with two dawgs and you find them on all ground after maybe 1 hour sleeping peacefully and you joined them too cause you ain't missing out on something like that. Sometimes he forgets that it's weaker and more fragile than jonesy and uses more strength than needed when playing with the kit, your little baby just thinks it's extra strong love though<3.
#slasher x reader#slasher x you#x you fluff#og michael myers#x you#michael myers x reader#michael myers headcanons#michael myers#jason voorhees x reader#jason vorhees headcanon#jason vorhees x reader#jason vorhees imagine#jason voorhees#thomas hewitt my beloved#thomas hewitt#thomas hewitt x reader#tcm thomas#thomas brown hewitt#thomas hewitt x y/n#thomas hewitt x you#sinclair twins#vincent sinclair#sinclair brothers#bo sinclair#the sinclairs#lester sinclair#lester sinclair x reader#bo sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair x reader#slashers x reader
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i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.
you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.
the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?
idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.
thank you for the feedback!
i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?
now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright
on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense
now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.
and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.
yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮💨
if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.
as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"
i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine
do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this
if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr
oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)
and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters
goodbye
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So, I just wanted to give some additional thoughts on March-April timeline & Australia. We know L went to LA in March w/ A (possibly a group trip?) and N was off promoting "Big Mood" w/ that cast in tow, including E. Now whether we think N was dating E or not he'd been on her socials singing her praises and was her co-star, as L had been... but he also plays a role on the wildly popular Witcher (w/ hottie Henry Cavill) and is a bad ass fighter on the show, not as soft boy. I'd think it's fair to say that L would naturally have some jealousy surrounding that, esp. if N did nothing to quell his fears, incl. E being at her b-day party earlier in the year, and E going to the "Renegade Nell" premiere with her end of March.
Also, if we take what we think happened after BTON S3 filming as truth - that L had been all in and N put on the brakes - L prob thought he was giving N what she wanted. You wanted me to date other people, so I am! (I'm quite sure N didn't expect him going off the rails with his HBS nor date young dancers but, to me, it makes perfect sense - because he's was dating for fun not true love, cause N is who he feels destined for & wants... in that way, I think he & N are very different. I think N prob thinks you can love many people & L feels there is "the one")
But I digress... in March, L & N are mostly apart but prob still communicating bts & he likes several of her IG posts. By April, they're back on the BTON press tour and w/ the excitement of spending time together in Jan & Feb, they're already havings feelings for each other again. The Netflix interview where they're watching their scenes & commenting stands out to me - when N tears up & L asks if she's ok 🥹 (He also couldn't stop glancing at her breasts lol). L keeps the flirtation going, pinching her butt in the IMBD interview (as you prev. noted), and at the London Call the polaroid is taken. L & N are "back on" but, also as you noted, L had already taken the InStyle polaroids back in March, perhaps half trying to appease A, half guarding against N's rejection once again.
Then Lukola lands in Australia end of April - they comment on how relaxed it is and secluded being half way around the world. In interviews they talk about how never getting annoyed w/ each other, N makes several comments w/sexual innuendo and says L smells good. They are asked to walk together in a video and L jokes "no, it's too much time", indicating the opposite. They do several photoshoots & L starts playing bodyguard- the crowds are enormous & he's always looking for N. In turn, N starts getting kind eyes w/ L. They mention going to dinner and are seen drinking champagne at the screening... I'm of the opinion, maybe something happened down under, while they were Down Under!
It's the start of the tour & they're already getting questioned about being a couple so they state in an interview they aren't dating & are friends. (Note: they don't say just friends but friends so there is no lie). Then, the Instyle piece comes out on April 29 - after this lovely time in Australia (and perhaps intimacy?), it's like a gut punch to N. On May 2, she posts "Kaleidoscope" by Chappell Roan, which talks about crossing the line but not making that person stay & going back to friends if that person changes their mind. People always say this is a sad song. And I do believe the Instyle stunt was hurtful to N but I also believe N is fighting for L here. The song also says "And if you ever find someone who could write a better song for you well I'd love to see them try...
Imo, N needed to fight for L after being the one who wanted to separate (if true, ofc). I can see L doing the Instyle stunt out of self-protection, not knowing where he stood with N... and this is why one could see the tension in Italy, which came right after all of this. But we also see it resolve, with them presumably getting on the same page. I can see it being like when Pen said to Colin that if he wanted an annulment she understood and Colin replied, in essence, that he loves her and she's not going anywhere... I can also see L not wanting N to go anywhere.
Now, what happened from Italy-on, there are many theories, but because of how remote Australia was and the conflict resolution thereafter, I'm becoming an Australia truther!
#justanopinion #downunder #Lukolalove
Don't agree with everything, but some interesting theories/things I haven't thought about before.
What do other people think?
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sleeping patterns – cn34
nights filled with endless crying and screaming take a toll on clement's confidence.
genre: fluff, slight comfort/angst ig
pairing: young dad!clem x young mom!reader
warnings: none
author’s note: aaaaaaaaaaa im so soft for clem and ive had such an insane baby fever recently. i miss him sm :(( he would be such a good dad, i just know it
f2/f3 masterlist
the big, red numbers of your electric clock on the bedside table tell you it's only 3am, a frustrated huff passing through your lips when your eyes slowly open. it takes a while for you to realize what's waking you up – but then it makes so much sense.
the soft cries on the other side of the baby monitor sting like a knife in your heart, and you're fully awake in a matter of seconds. you're just about to push yourself up to a sitting position when the bed dips next to you. after turning around, you find your boyfriend already jumping out of bed. "i'll get her."
"are you sure?" you ask, voice creaky after several hours of not speaking.
clement nods, leaning down to press a kiss to your temple. "go back to sleep," he hums, and just like that, he has waddled through the door to your nursery.
the sad truth is that your little one hasn't been progressing with her sleep as much as she should. she had a period of almost sleeping through the nights about a month ago, but then you were hit with the four-month regression. she's almost five months old now, and still, you have issues with sudden wakeups in the middle of the night. as much as you adore every second you get to spend with her, you just wish you could get one full night of sleep sometime.
you know you won't be able to fall asleep until clement is back, you never can. but it's not because you're worried; in fact, there's not a single piece of concern on your mind over it. you know that he has mastered the cradling-cooing-bouncing sequence by now. and sure enough, your daughter's cries grow lighter and lighter, until the only sound that can be heard from the monitor is the ones of soft steps and hushed whispers.
but something feels off. even when the apartment is completely silent, clement doesn't come back to bed.
it's very strange. he fell asleep once in the rocking chair in the nursery, but complained about his back aching for a week afterwards and promised that he would never put himself through that again.
the moonlight peeking through the poorly shut blinds in the nursery casts a shadow across clement's profile when you step inside. despite how dark it is, you can see every little toy on the floor and every detail of the little race car-themed mobile that dangles above the crib clearly. you're way too used to being in here at night.
clement has put your daughter back down into her crib by now, and his hands are wrapped around the railing as he leans over it, looking down at her. he doesn't react when you come closer, and he doesn't move a muscle even when you place your hand on his shoulder. it's easy to understand that something is bothering him.
"what's on your mind?"
he turns to you and lets out a tiny exhale, as if it was a struggle for him to snap himself out of his thoughts. he shakes his head. "it's nothing."
"tell me," you press, giving his shoulder a soft squeeze.
"well, i…" he squeezes his eyes shut. "i'm kind of freaking out. it's been over four months, and… i still haven't adjusted."
"honey," you start, your hand moving to the back of his neck. "where is this coming from? so suddenly?"
"i don't know," he says with a sigh. "you've seen me lately, i've barely been able to fall asleep at all."
he opens his eyes again and gazes down into the crib, eyes softening once they land on the little bundle of love resting so peacefully. he follows the way her chest rises with her breaths, her slightly pouting lips, her tiny fists that are wrapped around her blankie.
"it feels like i'm the only one who's struggling. you're such a natural, you're doing so much better with her, while i just feel… hopeless."
you don't want to interrupt him – clement doesn't often speak about his deeper feelings, so now that he's finally going, you don't wish to stop his flow – but you have to say something. "i think you're doing really well."
"you actually think so?" he asks. though his gaze doesn't move an inch, he can still see you nodding in the corner of his eye. he takes a deep breath. "i've heard people say that new fathers go through things… that it takes time, that it takes patience- and i've tried to be patient, i really have. but…"
he finally looks at you, and his heart breaks slightly at the sight of your uneasy expression, the tension in your eyebrows and your worried eyes. he hates being the one to make you feel like this.
"i just can't get rid of this constant anxiety. it feels like i'm always stressing over something. over you, over her, over everything."
you relate to every word he says. being this young, you feel like you're stumbling through darkness most of the time, not knowing what to do. it's frankly a guessing game, with mostly correct guesses mixed with some bad ones, since neither of you have any prior parenting experiences. even though he may not see it or know it, you're going through the same things as him.
no one had expected for you to get pregnant at this age, and no one – not even the two of you – had expected for you and clement to actually keep the baby. and sometimes, way more often than you'd thought before, your youth and inexperience has been catching up with you.
it's hard, but at least you have each other.
you step closer, draping your arms around his shoulders in an instant. "it's alright," you whisper into the skin of his neck, your nose filling with that scent that's just so him, and you finally relax a bit. his hands find your waist, fingers caressing your sides through the flimsy material of your nightgown. "it's okay to feel like this. i do, too. i think… all new parents must feel it." you give his neck a soft kiss. "but they all get through it, don't they? and so will we."
he stays silent for a while before he nods slowly. "it's all just so… intimidating. i don't want to mess anything up."
"and you won't." you pull away slightly to look into his eyes. "i trust you fully, and-"
you're interrupted mid-sentence, the sound of your daughter stirring in her crib taking clement's attention away from you as he glances towards her. you see his adam's apple bob as she begins to whine, her fists clenching and face scrunching up. "should- can i take her?" he asks tentatively, hands trembling slightly on your sides.
you nod not even a second later, stepping out of his embrace to give him no excuse to hold back. "go for it."
clement had bought every parenting guidebook he could find, and read every website with tips for new parents on the entire internet – and yet, nothing had prepared him for this nervousness that he's experiencing so often. he knew it wouldn't be smooth sailing all the way, but he hadn't expected to feel this uncertain in everything he does. even in the way that he picks his daughter out of her crib, he feels anxious that he's doing something wrong.
however, the second she feels her father's presence, it's far from the story that his anxiety has been making up for him. she lets out one last soft cry before, as if out of habit, nuzzling her face into his skin.
while clement has been struggling this whole time, you can't help but notice that she settles easily into his arms. like she belongs there; like she knows that he'll take care of her.
because he always does.
"see?" you say, letting a finger run along the curve of her cheek as you smile down at her. "that's not so bad, is it? you're doing so well."
considering all the difficulties he's faced, hearing these kind words of appreciation from you gives him comfort in a way that few other feelings can compare to. his gaze is still glued to your daughter, the precious little baby that is his entire world. well, half of his world – the other half is standing right next to him. "i love her, you know," he says softly. "even if she doesn't know it yet, i do. so much."
"i think she knows," you answer, watching as your boyfriend cradles her against his bare chest. he has loved the skin-on-skin contact since day one, and you're sure she does, too; her gentle babbling is always a sure sign that she's completely content. you can't hold back from smiling. "and she loves you just as much."
"sometimes i just can't believe that she's ours. that we made her." his eyes meet yours, nothing but pure love in them. "isn't it strange?"
"strange that we've done something good for once?"
he answers your tease by sticking out his tongue, nudging your shoulder with his, though gently enough to not bother the little one in his arms.
"come on, let's go back to bed," you say, leaning in to press your lips gently to the back of her head. "one night of co-sleeping can't be the entire world, can it?"
#f1#f2#formula 1#formula one#formula two#formula 2#elms#european le mans series#clement novalak#fluff#angst#x reader#x you#x yn#x y/n#imagine#scenario#fanfic#fic#romance
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IMAGINING. . . SOOBIN W TATTOOS !!
p — CHOI SOOBIN × FEM!READER | g — suggestive asfff, slight fluff, s2l!au kinda, | w — sexual tension type like a lot, pool scene, mentions of reader wearing revealing clothing (again it's literally a pool scene), mention of cigs somewhere + not really proofread
A/N — based on a thirst trap I saw on ig you have me on chokehold for the rest of the month <3 idc if the concept doesn't fit I needed it.
🖇️ READ PART TWO HERE !!
PARTIALLY INSPIRED BY ARIANA GRANDE'S “BREAK UP W/ YOUR GIRLFRIEND” MV & SONG
you've been friends with soobin for quite some time now— you kicked it off at a cafe when your friend wanted to meet up after coming back to town. she had a few other friends there with her, choi soobin being one of them. “dude, you have to meet soobin,” you recalled your friend telling you, that you he was this fun guy with a great fashion sense, and you'd just brushed her aside, not paying too much attention.
but now, you kind of wished you did. soobin wasn't anything like you imagined. you probably pictured an average looking guy with a personality that reached depths, maybe wore a few fashionable pieces here and there. but you didn't expect him to have wear the simplest outfits, and yet look like— well, the way he did.
you eyed him in a white t shirt covering all of his arms, the thin material subtilty revealing dark outlines on his skin, a delicate pendant around his neck and fluffy hair brushed aside to make room for his glasses. and when he smiled at a joke your friend made...shit. he was kind of cute.
and soobin made his efforts to talk to you, but you couldn't help but focus on his body language— his fingers gripping his forearm, his jacket riding down to show a few tattoos on his shoulder— and you'd mask a smile at him when you'd hear him repeat a question he asked you earlier, trying not to focus on the way his hand rested on his thigh.
and you'd see soobin when your friends hung out often— usually sitting in one of the corners of the table where you could observe everyone talk, and then driving people home in his car. but, despite his appearance, soobin was a sweet fucking guy. always offering you a napkin at dinner or lending you his jacket on a particularly windy night.
and everytime he stretched while he silently watched everyone talk at the table, you noticed there was something scribbled on his soft skin underneath his full sleeve shirt. and he'd catch you staring sometimes, his bangs falling over his eyes as he bent over to tap you on your knee, asking with a small smile if you're lost in thought.
so maybe, soobin had been growing on you. just a bit.
and the night you left a party after arguing with your ex about how you don't want to “try again,” some back and forth between bittersweet, blaring music & heated expressions flashing through shifting lights— your relationship had come to an end as abruptly as it had started, and you intended to keep it that way. refusing with a harsh pull, you rubbed your bare arms as you walked away, sliding between sweaty bodies in the tight room.
and you remember taking a seat outside, trying to wrap yourself in a shawl as cold wind nipped at your bare legs, muttering curses to your ex. the uncomfortably irritating sound of a couple making out in the corner was making your headache worse, as blaring music from inside muffled with the blowing wind.
you glanced down at your phone, knowing it'll offer you better entertainment than whatever was inside, when you saw a couple of texts from soobin a few hours ago.
SOOBIN
[11:12 pm] hey, y/n, how's the party?
how was the party? you scoffed to yourself, cigarette smoke wafting around in the air as you twiddled your thumbs hovering above the keyboard, trying to think of a response— when you reached over and pressed the call button, not really expecting him to pick up. “hey, soobin. I know it's super late, but can you pick me up?”
and soobin's response was a bit delayed, as if he was shocked you called, but he replied with something that sounded in-between a ‘sure’ and a hum, his voice hoarse. “oh, soobin. did I wake you up?”
“no, no. I was wide awake,” then you heard him yawn. your cheeks flushed as you tapped your foot to the ground, “sorry about that, soobin.”
he ignored your apology, mumbling at you to send him your location with another yawn. maybe you should have thought twice before calling him at nearly 4 in the night. but you didn't know that soobin was secretly over the moon at you calling him, he was just too sleepy to show it— every second he got, he had always picked to be your side. slowing down his pace to walk beside you, or discreetly allowing his fingers to brush against yours whenever he got a chance to, had his heart beating like crazy. you had his heart beating like crazy.
and when you finally sat in the passenger seat of soobin's car after a few more calls he made confirming your location— fuck.
you knew there was something suspicious about soobin always wearing a full sleeve shirt even in the hottest weather possible, but last thing you expected was him having an arm full of tattoos resting on the wheel, the other out the window. his designs slowly circled and disappeared behind the strap of his black tank top. and when your eyes trailed below towards his sleeping shorts, accidentally catching them riding up as he bent over to lower the aircon—
you snapped your eyes forward, feeling a blush settle on your cheeks. your fingers clutching the end of your shawl tightened.
and little did you know, soobin did it on purpose. he'd seen the way you looked at him, your eyes slyly (or not) slipping down to gaze at his arm flex when he scratched the back of his neck or readjusted his hair, a guilty, dark shift to your eyes when you'd notice his fingers on his thighs. and was it that bad to admit he liked it when he saw the expression on your face lightly change when you noticed a tattoo peeking out? you'd slowly press your legs together, a hand moving to hide your face as you'd look the other direction, trying to focus at the conversation everyone else was involved in. but he'd see you slowly default back to him, and everytime, he'd feel a tingle in his stomach when you'd lick your lips, and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom.
“how are you? how was the party?” he gave you a sleepy smile in the car, his eyes glazing over you. you looked towards him, pressing your lips together at the way his hair fluffed up, his hand rubbing his thigh as he leaned his head back to the headrest, revealing the shape of his jaw—“good. met my ex. not doing that again,” you nodded, earning a small chuckle from him.
and throughout the drive, you felt yourself slipping into sleep, accidentally focusing on your reflection in the windshield instead of the traffic. your eyelids closing, the soft bass of a summer song playing in the background, the fresh car scent wafting around you— before the car would jerk, shooting you awake. “sorry,” soobin would mumble, throwing you an apologetic look before he'd suggest you lay your seat back, allowing you to sleep in a more comfortable position. and you remember refusing, curling into a ball to sleep instead.
and occasionally, a speeding car would pass by an intersection, and soobin would lean his arm out to stop you from falling forward as the car came to a sudden stop, a serious expression on his face as he asked you, “you okay?” and the two of you would trail your eyes down to his hand on your bare thigh, hearts skipping beats. and he'd snap his hand back, apologizing and trying to clear his intentions, when you'd just giggle him an, “its okay!” thanking him for looking out for you. and the drive would start again, and he'd yawn after hearing you yawn yet again, eyelashes bearing sleepy tears.
and right before he dropped you off at your place, he turned his body to face you, scratching the back of his neck. he was telling you something about not hesitating to call him, but did he really think you'd pay attention? your eyes watched the way his detailed arms flexed when he ran his hand through his hair, his fingers tugging at the material of his shorts. your eyes watched the stars sprinkled across his collarbones attentively, wishing you could see the designs that hid behind his clothes.
and when soobin held a small ‘get together’ as he called it— was really a party— you thought you'd really never lived. you weren't planning on going, but after being urged by everyone in your circle, there you were, wearing swimming clothes underneath your dress and holding hands with your friend as you walked into the venue.
and eyeing soobin in the crowd, soft giggles and hushed whispers as the bass snuck up your legs— and you felt your stomach tighten when he glanced over towards you, a hand gesturing to come closer.
and dipping your feet as you watched everyone urge soobin to jump in the pool— him shyly refusing with a shake of his hand as he backed away, trying not to glance at you, sitting sweetly as your legs tread in the water. and he didn't notice someone sneak behind him, pushing him in, earning cheers from everyone around. and when he came up to the surface— beads of water dripping down as he pushed his hair back with a scowl and furrowed eyebrows, his dimples suddenly popping out. and he noticed you giggling as he pulled his top off, your eyes glazing over the chain that hung in the dents of his shoulders and collarbones, and he broke out into a smile, slowly walking towards you. “come on, y/n, jump in.”
you refused without actually meaning to, but then, everyone started a chant lead by soobin— and the last thing you remember before your ears crashed against the surface of the water was soobin's chin coming to rest on your knees, tilting his head with a smirk as he snaked his hands around your thighs to pull you in.
and everyone followed suit, splashes of water against your cheeks as soobin held your arms, laughing as the waves hit your face.
and everything happened so fast, his arms clinging to you when someone splashed water on you, or him wiping the water out of his face with a soft gasp. his hand on your waist, your leg slowly wrapping around his waist as he pushed you into a corner when everyone left to grab towels— bending lower, almost underneath the water when you felt his breath hit the cold skin of your lips, a soft, “can I?” as he pulled your hair to the side, his lips against your own, pushing you against the cold walls of the pool.
the sensation of the ripples of water against your hips was sending you over the edge whenever he adjusted your legs around him, softly smiling when he'd hear you mumble something in between, feeling your hands around him. and it was almost horrifying the way you could hear him kiss you, despite the music in the back, despite the water rippling around the two of you.
and you remember you snuck your fingers to pull lightly at his hair, the other hand finding it's way to tug the pendant around his neck when he pulled away— hooded eyes and cute puffy lips, his cheeks pink as he whispered, dragging your hand down his tattooed chest.
“if you keep doing that, we'll have a little problem.”
txt — masterlist
main taglist (hmu to get added!) — @koishua @navyhyuck @allegxdly @daystiny @kdyism @neotism @bluejaem @radiorenjun @sleepylixie @oifelixcmerebrou @mrkcore @imdamnconfused @sicluvz @abhirami20 @tyongishs @emvrd @brxght-world @1921choi @bangchansbae
I’d appreciate if you’d give me a little feedback on the drabble if you read, whether it’s an ask, a reply or in the tags of the rb! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed!
#soobin#choi soobin#soobin fluff#soobin suggestive#choi soobin fluff#soobin reactions#choi soobin scenarios#soobin scenarios#soobin soft hours#soobin soft thoughts#choi soobin imagines#soobin imagines#txt soobin#soobin txt#soobin tomorrow x together#soobin timestamps#soobin thoughts#soobin headcanons#choi soobin x you#choi soobin x reader#soobin x reader#soobin x y/n#soobin x you#txt scenarios#txt imagines#txt blurbs#txt reactions#txt headcanons#txt timestamps#txt x reader
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IG this might be the wrong blog to ask (do you have a main?) but what are some things you hate about the show/fandom that don’t relate to Zutara? Is “The Great Divide” really that bad? The comics? The Legend of Korra?
Okay, let's split these in categories
What I dislike about the original show
How we never really see much about the cultures of the Air Nomads and Water Tribes, and that the planned episode about Aang's parents was scrapped.
How Ty Lee basically has no arc and just went from "Hates being part of a matched set" to "Happily part of a matched set."
How Toph didn't really get any resolution with her parents, be it a reconciliation or a decision to cut contact like Zuko did with Ozai.
How the Lion Turtle wasnot introduced much earlier and instead used a Deux Ex Machina. We all know Aang won't kill Ozai, guys, you don't have to pretent, just let us know there's something Aang can to do avoid it and go revealing stuff about energybending little by little, then give us the final piece of the puzzle in the finale.
How the White Lotus was clearly a retcon that stopped making any sense after season two and that they're actually pretty fucking useless when you think about it.
How the show basically forgot that Iroh was very much a villain in season one, and for most of his life, therefore he has no right to call Azula crazy and dismiss her as a lost cause.
How Iroh says it wouldn't be right for him to kill Ozai, even if he could, because history would just see it as just a brother killing another brother for power, then IMMEDIATELY sending his 16-year-old nephew to a battle to the death with his 14-year-old niece - all while the White Lotus FINALLY decides to do SOMETHING and frees Ba Sing Se...
...Which looks horrible for Iroh when we think "Oh shit, last time he tried to capture it because he thought it was his destiny, his son died, and now he sent his nephew to a battle in which nearly dies and gets another scar while he's off trying to free that same city because of destiny again." (Seriously, when it comes to Ba Sing Se, don't let Iroh do ANYTHING other run a tea-shop in it. Somehow it always shows the ugly side of his personality).
How "Sokka's Master" is really an episode that did not need to exist at all because while Sokka had always wanted to be a warrior, he never really expressed any insecurity about being a non-bender and was only ever teased about it once. It just felt like an obligatory "The dude with no powers is important too!" episode and not a natural stepping stone of the narrative.
As for "The Great Divide" it is a pretty boring episode... but it's not as bad as people say. I don't think the original Avatar had any episodes in which nothing is important or at least creative and/or cool. I like the music in it, the world-building is kind of neat, the theme of helping refugees is pretty coherent with a show about war, and the animation changes when we are told the versions of the story on what these people hate each other was pretty cool.
What I dislike about the novelizations of the show
While some of the attempts of exploring how characters felt in some scenes really works and provides some interesting interpretations, others just fall completely flat and feel a bit OOC.
What I dislike about The Lost Adventures comics
That ridiculous story with Katara being way too pushy with Aang's training for no reason and refusing to communicate with him when he wants to talk about the kiss on the day of the invasion. She would never treat him like this.
What I dislike about the Azula In The Spirit Temple comic
The bits that remind me "Oh yeah, that's supposed to be set in the same universe of the Yang comics." Other than that, it is a pretty good stand-alone story and it allowed Azula to be turned into a deeply offensive stereotype about the mentally ill.
What I dislike about (most of) the comics and Korra
Nearly everything. Seriously, I don't know how the reception to these were mostly mixed instead of on the same level of hatred the fandom has to the Shyaman movie. The character assassination and lack of understanding of what made the original story good is EXACTLY the same, yet because it had Bryke's approval/involvement people expect me to take it as canon and it's NOT gonna happen.
What I dislike about the Netflix version
It exists. I'm sick of all the bullshit, souless remakes/reboots that are clearly just crash-grabs for companies that completely forgot they can make money AND art at the same time. I especially hate the trend of beautiful 2D animation being replaced with cheap cosplays, ugly CGI and poor lighting to pretend it is the "dark, mature version of the story"
What I dislike about the fandom itself
To make a really, really, REALLY long list very short and not really rank them 'cause it'd take forever:
1 - The blatant ableism towards Toph and Azula.
2 - The constant delusion about Avatar being "just like Game Of Thrones" and "not a kid's show."
3 - The people still insisting that the Netflix version, Korra, and the comics are good or "not that bad."
4 - The weird way some people act like Zuko was the first character to ever get a redemption arc and that everyone who does it now is taking inspiration from it.
5 - The refusal to accept that uncle Iroh was never perfect, both due to oversight of the writers AND deliberate narrative choices.
6 - The people that act like the show was trash just because of a few bad choices.
7 - The people that act like the show is perfect.
8 - The people that act like Bryke's interpretations are the only ones that matter.
9 - The inability to not harrass others for not agreeing with them.
10 - The weird, stupid people that act like Sozin and Azulon were not that bad and not just as power-hungry, racist and cruel as Ozai.
11 - The people that don't understand how Aang killing Ozai would be character assassination AND a deep betrayal of the themes and morals of the story.
12 - The people that keep losing their shit if you want a character like Azula to have a redemption arc because it'd "make Zuko's less especial" (it wouldn't, and I know that because HE WASN'T THE ONLY CHARACTER TO GET REDEEMED IN THE STORY, hell, he wasn't even the first).
13 - The downright offensive and disgusting need the fandom feels of sweeping Zuko's mistakes under the rug, no matter how bad they are, because they think he needs to be perfect otherwise he was not truly a victim of abuse.
14 - The way people just full on make shit up to support their headcanons, ships and theories.
15 - The blatant racism.
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CRINGE MESSAGE COMING LOL. Seeing all the chapters of Oshi no Ko and the KamiAi makes me feel guilty now for being an Ai’s yume / waifuist lol. She's definitely his. Too bad for me ig, but I'm very happy maybe she really found someone who can love her as she is. Your comics are so good btw !
Don't worry about it, anon! And honestly I have no problems with someone feeling that way about Ai- why would you have to feel guilty? Just as much as I'm passionate about what her relationship could have been with another character, you liked her as a character and wanted to explore in that aspect! Even if she canonically has someone she loves in the story, she's a fun character to imagine and work with and she's really charming! But.. I'm really glad at the same time to hear you feel convinced about this ship too as someone who cares about it 🙏💖..your ask is so wholesome. I feel that's lovely of you to feel happy for her having found someone she can love. Ai would be happy to have a fan like you.
To add, I bet I'm WAY more cringe for having discussed about the ship and the characters in literal essays at this point..! I really appreciate your ask, it's happy(and relieving)to see there are people finding this ship the same way as you do. I really, really hope the manga will direct them in the way I anticipate too~~~~, because I can love them all I want if that's the case and it'd make a lot of sense, too! I can explain. I CAN-
Not that it matters a lot in terms of analyzing characters from a manga, but I STUDIED psychology, it IS a field of interest for me and I want to get things right on that aspect... the emotional areas of people. And from what I can infer, I think what these two characters had...could have actually been pretty good. Ai's reaction towards Hikaru and what's related to him aren't really what someone would have towards a bad partner, it's quite the opposite. Things all started to add up after having seen her say on him in the video. I'll discuss a little more about it below but before that:
Right?? What mattered the most for me the most is Ai's say about the guy and it turns out she REALLY loved him and SHE wanted to be together. I could tell from the entirety of the movie arc that Hikaru would have been very attached to her considering his life circumstances. She literally was only person he could really open up to and love, and Ai did so much for him although she later did give him the pain. I totally see how the lyrics for this show are all like "I can't live without you!" or "I'd give up my own life for yours!", it has to be this guy saying it because that's EXACTLY the way he'd feel about Ai. I started drawing a lot of him after 154 and Fatal because they acted as the major puzzle pieces for me to understand his character. You see how Akane wants to understand her role as Sayahime but has a hard time forming a concept due to the little info she has in the scripts early on in anime S2, right? I felt the same way about the guy. I think...I get like 70% of him now, but the other 30% I am yet aware of can completely turn the tables and my insights about him and that's what makes me so nervous. One thing's certain though, he severely loves Ai and every loving feeling he expresses about her are true. And if it is, then it's at an extent where he can literally sacrifice himself for her sake. Pretty intense, right? So about your ask, the part where you say Ai's found someone who really loves her is DEFINITELY true! I'm glad for her in that aspect(is he worthy enough, however?)
About the "worth" of his love, I've said earlier that Ai's say on this relationship's the important bit, didn't I? And it is, since she could be a victim of a terrible crime and if that's true, whatever feelings Hikaru would have about her wouldn't hold weight or meaning(at least for me). Who cares if a stalker claims they can risk their life for you? You'd just want them to stay firmly out of your life, it's imposing and unwanted and even quite selfish. However, Ai seems to have been pretty content, maybe even happy with him during the times they were together.
We don't really get to see a lot of their loving moments together since things keep happening making Hikaru's life plummet and become miserable and pretty reliant on Ai, but we see his happiest smiles in that brief moment they were together and Ai WAS smiling there, too. I believe that's not just a false vision of her Hikaru has formed in his head. She did actually accept, understand, and love him back. Well, how do we know that? Because the way she reacts to him/what's related to him are consistently loving and shows of concern.
-Ai adores their children and swoons about how cute they are, when they resemble him too a whole lot. It's a little similar to how she's commented how cute he is when they had dinner together(although Hikaru says those scenes are made-up, I feel they would hold some clues to how they actually were bc why would something entirely fake take up entire chapters). It's hard to love the kids of someone who's given you a hard time, but Ai shows no signs of such feelings. Rather, I think her feelings towards her boyfriend extended to their kids they had together and she was able to love them even more because they're the children of someone who she really cares about.
-She also comments(I say this a lot)that she wanted to be together forever with Hikaru. That's not something that'd come so easily from her mouth. She believed her own mother didn't want her. She was so wary, and hid her true self even towards her own kids and always smiled, leading even her own son to believe she never cries even until he's entered high school. She's afraid of forming relationships because she gets hurt. But Ai sincerely wanted to be with this guy. This says a lot because if he was bad to her, Ai would have recoiled and left. However, Ai was able to decide she wanted to settle with him and share a future together. That's what love is. She liked her times with him enough to wish for more of it.
-Ai actively tries to cover for him and shield him from the possible harms he may face: she never reveals who the father is, to the president in her firm, even in her videos to her OWN SON. I get the feeling that she is really protective of this guy. The reason she left him was because she was afraid of causing HIM more sufferings, not because of her being tired of him sticking to her etc. There's a cut where she imagines him raising their children together with a smile and she's also there right beside him forming a wide smile. That's what Ai wanted, and it's so far from what a messed-up relationship could be. Ai knows about Hikaru more than anyone else and she doesn't hold any negativity towards him, she's only worried about his sake. That convinced me, they could have really had this happen. He was good enough for her and she wanted him too as much as he did for her. I don't think she would have the wrong idea about who she chose to love, when her whole story revolves around her struggles on forming a genuine one.
How could this be, if he's someone capable of harming her? I say he actually ISN'T, and that could be backed up by how.. timid Hikaru used to be. This is the 30% I am unsure of, I am not sure how crazy he is or how insane he can get. What I can say is that his innate character isn't the type to actively try to harm someone just because he's hurt. He was hurt all the time, always, by others, and he was never able to really fight back and protect himself before he's met Ai who stood with him(and this explains why Ai is so keen about protecting him-she knows he gets very vulnerable and she's seen him suffer all his life. She never wanted to be the one to add to it. She WANTS to help and protect him so much.)
I can also say he has very low self-esteem and values himself way less compared to what he actually is. This attitude of his is there from the very first time he's introduced, he keeps blaming himself and says his life doesn't have so much value. It's a very weird attitude to have if he's in front of someone who he's murdered.... When he is asked to teach Ai for the first time, he says stuff like "Is it okay for someone like me to...?" When you're this degrading about yourself.. You come to sort of.. Accept every bad thing that's thrown at you. I think that's how his mental state is at this point because Ai died and he believes he's responsible for it. He hates himself and has no problem having to be "punished" for it. He describes himself as a crazy murderer but.. I am still not sure if that's really the case. Aqua blames himself a lot for things he never did, perhaps his dad is even more like him on that regard. I need more pieces of the puzzle, but he's... really interesting and painful to analyze because I can sense that he's really suffering. Does he deserve it?
If he's someone that's allowed a person like Ai to form such a strong, loving and protective feeling towards, I don't think he could be so bad in reality. The things he says and his actions don't line up so well. Good grief, the writer really makes me think SO much. Maybe they never put that much thought into it and thought it's understandable the way it is, but.. He's so different compared to how he used to be. There has to be a reason for a person to change their ways so drastically, and the only reason I can personally think of for this character to shift this much would be Ai's death. I don't think he'd have been so different before that happened, and if that's the case, he wouldn't have tried to hurt her because why do that to the only light of his life? Why do that after a whole 4 years after a breakup, not immediately when it happened? Why try to do it after having realized she's been raising your kids by herself and they're said to be growing up smart and healthy? Many questions arise, it doesn't add up for me. Hikaru SAYS he wanted to talk to Aqua. He did with Ruby, he states he HAS fatherly feelings and I sense no hostility in him when he approaches them, he acts pretty KIND to them. That's not so different from how Ai's pictured he'd be with their children, either. His behavior is mostly consistent except for that one thing he claims to have done(sending Ryosuke), and the death of Yura, but even that is ambiguous and we don't actually know what's happened.
I think he just tried to send a bouquet to her but was too sad to go meet her in person lol, that, or there was some outer force that convinced him it's what he should do? The black star, perhaps?
This became a real essay and I'm the embarrassing one here ;v; ahah but!! I do draw with passion! And with a lot of things in mind and I read stuff over a lot like you do anon! ♥ I really hope they turn out to be something I can fully respect and support bc, I want Ai's love to be reciprocated in the way it deserves. It'd be great if they deserve each other. They are the protagonists' parents too, after all! I feel they'd have a pretty good story. Thanks for reading my comic and for expressing your thoughts to me! I hope what you said and what I speculate about them are true!!😊💖💖
#hikaai#oshi no ko#oshi no ko spoilers#asknreply#kamiai#spoilers#maybe I'm intrigued towards this ship bc I can sense the genuinity in their feelings.. but the situation's so confusing#I CAN sense the love. and it's not that unhealthy.. they care a lot about each other#but the outcome that's said to be claimed as doesn't match and I'm not sure what the story would be trying to say if that's just it#considering the songs.. there seems to be a lot more to it than what meets the eye#but maybe I'm too fixated~; but I'm not usually wrong about these hunches...#also thanks for the kind ask anon♥ we all have that character we care about! I think it's natural if you have ai as your oshi#she's meant to be that lovely#oshi no theories
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New Year
-“I'll send a message, we have to try everything… help me please” - Mob said and Reigen looked at him curiously.
It was strange that he was so active. It was the first time he met part of his school friends and he was not used to see his disciple interacting with other guys.
It was weird… but it was refreshing.
Even when the squeaky-voiced girl only heeded Mob and decided to continue on her way because he had asked her to.
Since when had Mob had grown up so much?
He watched them set up those strange altars in hopes that they would work to “ call upon” some being from outer space. All the silly words and ridiculous signs….
He had done some research too, he knew it was a fraud, and since his job demanded it he had to be aware of all those things.
That's why it wasn't hard for him to realize that this Takenaka boy knew more than he was saying, and although it wasn't with bad intentions, it would be best if they were sincere if they wanted to keep that memory of their youth.
As soon as his boy spoke and they all held hands. Reigen knew there was something incipient growing inside him.
A slight smile preceded the worry of seeing Mob collapse exhausted after using his powers. If necessary he would carry him to the car, if necessary he would carry him all the way home on his back, just to make sure he was okay.
Something strange happened and the northern lights illuminated the mountain. When he least realized it he was the only one afraid to get on the ship.
Was it his common sense telling him it wasn't safe?
No, it was fear of realizing at 28 years old that the universe, the world, existence itself, was bigger than he had ever imagined. Realizing that next to Mob his life had changed and the rotation of it was never continuous or linear, that it was always random, oscillating between uncontrolled and innocuous.
Suddenly he was afraid, afraid to let herself go without resistance, without generating friction that would prevent an uncontrolled descent towards the disaster he glimpsed in the distance.
He was afraid of chaos, of falling back into uncertainty.
Then he saw Mob laugh.
His heart filled with a sincere emotion he had never felt before.
With a distant family it was obvious that any sense of closeness would break him into a thousand pieces. But he didn't know if that was what was really happening… the only thing certain was that it only happened when he saw that boy happy.
All the kids were laughing with those strange creatures with the huge eyes.
It was unreal. And all he could think about was the bill for the van rental.
As they said goodbye, the kids gave the aliens something special. But he had nothing, nothing he wasn't afraid of losing, nothing special… everything he had with him was ordinary, just like him.
He remembered his favorite pajamas with the figure of that cartoon he once saw on the couch next to his mom, maybe it was time to change it, maybe it was time to change for him.
He shed the sweatshirt without any concealment and gave it away….
He had left something on that ship, in that old year. Something he no longer wanted to carry.
As they stepped off the ship the dawn welcomed them.
How promising.
A new year, an unforgettable morning.
A huge life to enjoy.
All thanks to Mob.
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Sorry, this is the first time I try to transcribe such a long text into English. I'm sorry if my conjugations are stupid or if something doesn't make sense.
I hope you enjoy it, on Wattpad you can find it in Spanish… my native language… which I don't speak very well either…
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I don't know if you remember but a while ago I sent an ask talking about how as a ketuvian I've always felt rejected and that's why I close myself off to people ? Anyway that's was a whileee ago.
But now that I'm in university, I just feel so alone, I've always had friends right but I never ever had a close friend, a confident you know ? And now I just feel like seeing everybody spend time with their group of friends I feel like I missing out.
When I try to make friends at my uni they are never what I expect and it never goes far, ( I fear that I appear as clingy) I just never meet anybody that fits me also I am in my rahu/Venus antardasha so I just feel so obsessed with establishing socials connections which feels very weird for me as a ketuvian and I just feel lost like I want to get this idea out of my head however I can't and everytime I get a friend they just start at one point expressing animosity towards me like 😐 why you're jealous I tought we were twinning?? I just feel so lost and exploited like I try to give out love but it is never matched so I was wondering if you would like to give a piece of advice or some insight on how should I stop the FOMO ? 👉👈🥺
I'm so glad you're back 💓
sorry babe i havent checked my asks in a few months so i must have missed it 💀💀
honestly babe, not everybody has genuine, healthy, meaningful friendships. i say this as someone who knows a lot of people and hangs out with a lot of people. all the people with these vast friend groups and besties they hang out with every day lowkey have all kinds of issues with them and THATS OKAY. we seldom get a realistic perspective on it.
most friendships are complicated if not superficial. the secret to healthy friendships are keeping boundaries.
OBVIOUSLY now there are genuinely good people in this world and good friendships can be formed with them but its all about timing. ive gone yearrrs of my life without having close friends :(((
now i want you to write down what exactly you're looking for in a friend:
is it someone to confide in? someone to have deep chats with? someone who will give you emotional support??
is it someone to hang out and do fun stuff with??
is it a combination of the two??
ideally, it should be possible to have a combo of the two but FRANKLY speaking, in this economy, you can have chill friends you hangout with occasionally (you dont talk to them everyday, you dont really have personal convos etc etc) or you can have a few friends who you can get super personal with
now considering how you've just started uni, your emotional needs are going to be very different from that of a woman in her mid 20s (aka me) for me, i dont really need to share much ?? with anyone?? but i do have people in my life that i can talk to if i need to?? but mostly we all just do our job and then chill and thats just adulthood
university is a whole different ballgame and i understand how isolating it can be without friends :(( 🥺🥺
but honestly its better to be alone than it is to be surrounded by fake asf friends 💀💀so dont worry about that
my university years were horrible because of toxic friendships. i felt alone through most of it and im sooo glad its over. i wish i had a fun uni experience to speak of but :// it is what it is and since it was covid era, not many people my age have a fun uni exp to speak of either so i didnt feel like im missing out on much
ANYWAAYYYS thats enough about me
about FOMO,
its just a part of life. we're all going to feel left out/excluded/left behind etc etc but tbh its not really fun if you aren't there experiencing it yourself. idk if that makes sense??? but like suppose you went to that party that you see all over your friends IG stories, once you're there you'll realise its nothing much, its just some drinks, disco lights, awkward people, pretentious wannabes and ppl with zero personality trying to impress each other. nothing is ever as fun as you see on instagram. so you're not really missing out on much. also company matters a great deal, if you go to fun places with lame asf/ boring/rude/ vibe unmatched people then youll ruin a good thing for yourself!!!
ive been asked to go to goa (its like the ibiza of india for the non desis) with like 3 different friend groups and ive declined them all bc while it sounds fun in theory (dropping acid at a rave) i dont think ill enjoy myself as much bc idrc about those ppl
life is only fun if we MAKE it fun. whenever you feel left out, just remind yourself "i probably wouldnt have enjoyed it any way" ORRRR "i wasnt there so it couldnt have been that much fun" (if youre delulu like me)
another major factor behind fomo is self comparison
i dont open IG, i dont see those stories. idgaf what other ppl are upto. if youre going to see coldplay, good for you. if you're going to iceland. good for you. IDC. i stay in my lane. i focus on myself. i get my shit done and try to check off my boxes.
let them have fun now. your turn WILL COME. and it will be amazinggg <333
just think of this as an era where you're sowing the seeds. learn to enjoy your own company. do things alone. get new hobbies. go on dates.
and there will come a different era which i call HARVEST SZN 😎😎😎where you can harvest the seeds you have sown now and have a blast
nothing is forever in life. spring follows winter. thats the rule of nature. so honestly just keep going.
dont be afraid of missing out because youre not missing out on anything that you would actually enjoy. bc the things that are actually for you, you can never miss out on??? if that makes sense???
idk if this helps 😭😭😭
but youre so smol and so precious. pls take care!!! dont fall into bad habits and dont waste these years by holding yourself back. do everything u want to do!!! and honestly try to get some kind of job. that will also keep u engaged and not leave u with any time to think <333 (welcome to capitalism, u cant have fomo if youre too tired to think 😍)
love,
heaven
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Hi I read your This Unbearable Tragedy and I’m having a blast! And yes please I would like to hear your thoughts on your fic
OMG thanks for asking!! Sorry for the late reply. I had so much to say that I wrote wayyy too much and then had to cut it down, lol.
(Also for those reading the fic rn, Chapter 3 is delayed to next weekend.)
So, the main things that I immediately thought of when I started planning a fix-it was "there's not enough Ben in s4" and "why would they set Allison and Reginald up to parallel each other and not follow through?" and also "that is NOT where I saw these characters going". In essence, I thought that s3 was setting up a certain narrative with all of this and then was like ???? when they went (haha) off the rails. So I'll talk about those three points below. SPOILERS for the fic and s4. It's a long post!
Before I start: one of the major points of this fic (and s4 ig) is that timelines are spilling into each other. That doesn't just mean artifacts. It means people. The Keepers get memories of other timelines. Why shouldn't Ben and Reginald?
Character Arcs
Yeah ... I think the general consensus was that the characters weren't themselves in s4. I actually had no problems with the set-up in ep 1-2, but then ... Five and Lila happened. And the narrative seemed to hate Diego, reduce Luther to a himbo and not much else, and for some reason try very hard to make Reginald a dad to Viktor. Klaus, Allison and Claire had a kind of nice sideplot but I didn't love it. It tortured Klaus for no real reason and made Allison his saviour? And for what?
Anyway, for my fic, I start off the characters the same with some subtle differences.
We don't see Diego at his job. His job is to be a dad. That's his whole thing, that's the best part of him. He's a brother and he's a father, and the narrative will reward him for that
Lila starts by screaming. Can you tell she's NOT okay? She deserves a break and a breakdown, and she'll get both I swear. She is NOT a house wife because she simply wouldn't be. She loves working. I did almost make Diego a househusband though
Side note on Lila's parents: they don't exist because why on earth would Allison think of that and not think of bringing Sissy back? It's clear her fantasy timeline is selfish.
Luther is a stripper still but again, his job is a side note. His first scenes is with Klaus (which, again, was a relationship set up in s3 and never explored??). He's trying damn hard to keep his family together and I want people to appreciate that!!
Allison's first scene is still the studio, but I wanted to expand it to include Klaus. Her story is still of love.
Also Klaus has his own place because he has goddamn agency in this narrative. He and Luther deserve to have a home of their own, and they'd make hilarious roomates imo.
Ray of course, exists
Five is interesting to me because while it makes sense for him to be in the CIA, I can't see him staying with the CIA. This will be explored in ch5. I have a really cool piece written for him.
Viktor my beloved <3 I have no notes, I just want to say I love him. I will of course not let him near Reginald unless to beat Reginald up.
Anyway, I'm going to write a whole separate post for the characters. You opened the Pandora's box anon!
Ben (and Klaus)
I gotta say ... I tried, I really tried, to like Jennifer. She's just such a non-character. We know very little about her, her trauma barely gets explored, the Squid is stupid because all it does is exist and then Ben is like "hehe I have tentacles too! Means we're connected" WHAT?
I was excited for Jennifer. Curious about the Jennifer Incident. Very vindicated when I learned Reginald killed them because lets face it, that's super in-character. But I just ... couldn't get behind Jennifer. So I scrapped her.
Look, if there was anyone that Ben was going to be soulmates with, it was Klaus (platonically).
I mean, isn't that what we learned over two seasons? That Ben and Klaus are inseparable?
(I also don't get the whole Durango thing. TUA has never been all that science-y but at least they tried, but this season they didn't care at all. They really just threw in matter/dark-matter and pretended it was something.)
Anyway, I also don't understand why the fact that Ben was DEAD in another timeline is never bought up properly. In fact, Ben is barely bought up by the siblings? After they discuss his death, they all go off on their own. Viktor's the only one who seems to care (which is fine, I love Viktor and seeing him try to reach out to Ben was nice). Five and Diego are fighting each other during their fight against Ben??? Doesn't make sense - Five saves Ben in s3, Diego hugs Ben so tightly in s2, WHERE. IS. THE. PAYOFF.
(I think that is really what I hated about s4. There is no payoff to all that was built in s1-3. They bring in whole new narrative points without concluding the old ones, and then everyone dies. The end. UGH.)
Anyway, MY BEN needs his Klaus. His memories are a little janky, because timelines, but there has always been one constant. There has always been Klaus. I think even in childhood, they were close (and I'll try to explore that more in the memories). More than that though, Ben needs his FAMILY.
And he might deny that they are his family, but they are. And they will do so much to help him. Including, but not limited to, BEATING REGINALDS ASS (/j)
Allison and Reginald's choice
Okay, the final scene in s3 where we see Allison & Ray and Reginald & Abigail made me think that s4 was going to take this further. Allison and Reginald both made a selfish choice - not in resetting the timeline, but in directly going against the wishes of the loved ones they magicked into the timeline. Ray in s3 is very clear that though he loves her, and will always love her, his place is in Dallas 1963, where he has people he cares about. A life he cares about. Abigail is a bit more subtle, but I remember thinking that it was clear that she wanted to die/was content with dying. I was a pretty casual fan then so I don't know if this was true, but that was the vibes I got from s1, and I was pretty happy that s3 confirmed it just ... not in the way I wanted? I don't mind she destroyed the world because she wanted to die - it's clear Abigail and Reginald think themselves above human lives. I just wish they explored it more.
And again, this parallel was something I got from just the ending of s3. It wasn't a deepdive or anything. I feel like it was such an obvious choice for s4 to go "What happens if you can't let go of the person you love?" And then ... they don't even mention Ray properly. Damn.
I just don't understand why they didn't do it? They set it up so perfectly. UGHHHH.
The main reason Ray exists in my fic is because Allison has to reckon with the fact that she really did pull Ray out of his time, out of his life. And I want her to realise how awful a choice that was. At the same time, I want Reginald to face the exact same thing and choose to do the opposite - hold onto Abigail tighter. Chapter 3 is going to explore a bit more of Allison and Ray, while further down the line we'll see more and more of Abigail.
(ALSO OMG!!! Abigail and Five parallel each other in wayyy more interesting ways than Reginald and Five. I cannot WAIT to write that. But this is more a headcanon hehehehe.)
Other Notes
I think s1-3 set up a lot of things that I assumed was going to be explored and wasn't. I'm going to try and touch upon all of them
the Jennifer Incident felt lacking. s1-2 really were so good because there was a slight mystery to it all, and when there wasn't, there was a ton of dramatic irony - ofc we knew Viktor was the bomb, but it was interesting to see the family figure out that mystery. In the same way, ofc we know Ben is the bomb, but I really though s4 would allow the family to actively search for why and how to stop him. I'm more of a angst & fluff writer but I shall try to write some semblance of mystery here.
Marigold. I will explore. I have Thoughts. chapter 3 will answer more on why it was found by Ben in particular.
Relationships that were set up in s1 will be revisited because as the "last season" I expected it to be. Ofc, Klaus and Ben is the big one, but also Klaus-Diego, Viktor-Allison, Allison-Luther, Five-Viktor, etc. Some new ones will be there, especially with Ben who had little interactions (on account of him being a ghost) and with Lila.
Five continues to be old man on this side of crazy. Sometimes he has good advice. Other times his ideas are unhinged. Early chapters he's mellow because life is normal now but when things go to shit ... oh boy let's NOT forget how paranoid this guy is.
Lila is also a little crazy. Good for her.
Commission!Five is explained more than just a throwaway line in the Five Deli. Five Deli and the Subway is explored more too ofc.
DOLORES MENTIONED BECAUSE SHE IS GODDAMN IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTANDING FIVE. Not even as a "love story" (Five's love story is his familial one), just as a part of his psyche. She is mentioned in EVERY season. She deserves to be mentioned here.
Pogo. I will not say more.
Reginald. Is Reginald.
Anyway, I have a lot more to say but I'll stop here. Sorry this is so long! Thanks for the ask <3
#OMFG forgot to mention Griddy's and other callbacks I expected from s1 oops#Someone shoot me an ask about callbacks and chapter titles lol#thanks for the ask!#hope this isn't too long#can you tell I'm not a fan of reginald#he is an excellent villain and he will stay that way#reginald is creepy btw#okay I'll stop trying to write MORE notes in the tags#I'll update this post when I do the character posts#the umbrella academy#tua s4#tua s4 spoilers#tua fic#tua fanfic#five hargreeves#ben hargreeves#klaus hargreeves#viktor hargreeves#reginald hargreeves#this unbearable tragedy
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hi! so like, i might try writing smut soon enough (because why the hell not amirite?) so like, is there any advice you could give me? like DOs and DONTs, tools that could be useful to avoid orthographic errors etc etc (im used to using chat GPT to look at my horribly, horribly written texts and correct them, but i've got a feeling it will straight up censor it, and english's not my first language, so anything that would make my dirty dirty texts into dirty clean text would be dope)
Hi!
I'm sorry but because you're an ageless blog I'm not going to give actual smut-writing advice, but ig it's okay to give general writing advice?
Just a reminder to everyone, if you're a minor please do not interact with me or my posts!
In all honesty I don't really know what I even do when I write, the words just sort of appear and I'm like 'yep, that works', but that's not the most useful advice, lol
I envision the story I want to read, and then I write it how I want to read it. I hope that makes sense
I guess my main advice would be to find your own niche, like, are you a dialogue or an 'action' based writer? Ofc it's good to be good at both but people have their own strong suits. For me, for example, I'm much better at descriptive writing than dialogue so that's what I focus most of my writing around
People also have their own unique styles and formatting to their writing - I feel as though mine is pretty distinctive with certain types of vocabulary and paragraph spacing/grammar/etc - so I guess it would be good to find a style that works good for you! For example, don't stick to lengthy paragraphs of immense detail if that doesn't come naturally to you, etc
My absolute top priority when writing is to not tell the readers what's going on, but to show it. Sometimes 'They felt X/Y/Z' is a useful tool for emphasising a particular point, but sometimes it detracts from the writing overall.
As an example: 'He felt as if his heart was going to burst from his chest...' (This can be good when used in the right moments, but if that's the only descriptor the writing loses a bit of life to it)
Compared to: 'His heart hammered painfully against his taut ribs as he gasped uselessly for breath...' (This is showing rather than just simply telling, and is how I personally prefer to write a majority of the time)
It's also important not to repeat yourself unnecessarily - it can be good to repeat when you're really trying to emphasise a point, but sometimes writing can stagnate and become less engaging? It's very difficult to find the right balance but it makes a world of difference to a piece of text
For dialogue (arguably my weakest skill) the best piece of advice is that you cannot write accurately how people in real life talk. When we talk we mostly fill out thoughts with nonsense and fluff out the main point - you can't write this because the readers will become disengaged. There's an important balance to find between being too formal for speech, maintaining the main point of the conversation, and ensuring the characters still sound like themselves. I tend to really try and put myself in the characters heads, think about what they'd actually say, and then 'translate' it into a written format that works whilst keeping that characters traits.
The way I 'learnt' to write was through reading, and I'd really recommend you read in your desired writing language (I'm guessing English from your ask) to see the typical structures and vocabulary of that language when written down. Direct translations don't always work, especially with literature, because there are phrases and sayings and common slights-of-tongue that are language specific, so I think it's really useful to get used to that language in its own written form, yk?
I forgot!! But it's also important not to tell your readers everything. Let them fill some gaps in on their own - they don't need to be told how a line of dialogue was said if it's obvious in the speech and context, and they don't always need to know how a character moved across a room or what their hands are doing 100% of the time. Sometimes the best parts of stories are the bits that go unsaid :)
Sorry, this is rambling and probably not very useful, but I've never given writing advice before.
Writing really is all down to the author finding their own 'voice' within their texts, and I'm sure you're writing will be great!!! I hope this helps! :))
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Hey Asking for advice as I'm going through another [sparkle sparkle] gender crisis [uiii ] So I tend to present really androgynously/masc most of the days. It's comfortable, it's not tight fitting, it looks eccentric, you can't tell I'm afab so bonus points, and it feels like me. On those days I just go by they/them. In my mind. I'm not out, mind you. My parents aren't supportive. :') But then I have days when I'm fine with people she/her-ing me. Even tho I present the same way, because it feels good. And then there are days when I dress like a dude and act like the most fem person ever. Then there are days when I totally switch up my style, go from loose baggy men's jeans and overshirts to the classic flared jean and crop top and I'm definitely a girl. Except for when I decide I'm uncomfortable and just switch up, go to the bathroom, put my binder on, gel my hair and start acting like a dude dressed in girls' clothes. [A little note:I started carrying a few men's items like cologne and gel at first for fun and to spruce up my looks whenever I need some confidence, but yeah they've been life savers :] ] Then I don't even bother with pronouns, people are just going to assume whatever ig. And then there are days when being called a girl is just straight up offensive and I just hate all the hair on my head and need to shave it but then I don't feel he/him, because boy is also nasty those days and I'm just an angry gremlin and idk. And then there are days when I love flowery patterns and knitwear and those hippie round hats(not beanies, idk what they're called. The ones that look like a fishmonger's staple piece and are a sort of floppy downsides) and I love menswear those days but paired with dresses and sometimes makeup and sometimes shorts and it's all weird and genderfuck and I just don't bother. Then there are days when I just play with my appearance for fun, not because of gender but because it's also how I express myself and idk. Basically I just broke my gender and now it's also a style somehow but not always and it's so fucked up. And I've done my research and the top labels would be one of the demis or genderfluid but meh And I'm mostly sure I'm not bigender/trigender/pangender etc because it doesn't resonate and also I never got this thing with half a gender or more than one, I just thought demi-s at first because it leaves room for parts and bits that don't really fit. And I also dunno if what troubles me is my gender or my style as binarised and if I'm reffering to stuff correctly because SINCE WHEN IS GENDER SO COMPLICATED MOST PEOPLE DON'T EVEN THINK ABT ITT whyyyy And I'm usually fine with being called a girl but !not! with being feminine and I feel like ~ meh~ and I want a dude's body and stubble, yeah, stubble would be cool. And I think that when I was a kid I never particularly cared, I mean I was tomboyish sometimes but not always and it usually depended on the environment. And yeah I hated dresses but now I don't and being called a girl never gave me pause but now it does and it is uncomfortable too. And I'm also thinking it's just me overthinking everything because nothing EVER gave me pause until my pinterest insisted "yeah ur trans" because of my more masc style and I was like "fine let's see. I might get rid of the soft fem outfits in my feed" and it was a downwards spiral. And I had been warned that after questioning ur sexuality comes gender identity and I said "I'm fine, I'm just nonconforming cis" and now idk nothing makes sense anymore. I'm sorry if this is triggering at all to anyone, with my binarised thinking and stuff but thing is: IM NOT OUT YEYY(not that id know what to come out as and not that my family would support me :l ). That's how people perceive me. And I just want to give a picture of what caused me this questioning. I know it's a lot to handle, but advice? And also some fashion tips. Tyssm <3
Hi!
Yeah, parents not being supportive can be an issue - I hope you're safe otherwise!
As for gender identity, have you looked into apagender? It doesn't explicitly include the fluidness you feel, but it seems to match the overall vibe you seem to be feeling.
And fashion? This is not the blog you should be asking - I have zero fashion sense
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